Temporary Escape

Enjoyed a deeply relaxing long weekend away with friends this weekend just gone, and return to Leeds feeling very refreshed. There were four of us girls who know each other from first year of uni, me, Mad Medea and two other medics. Husbands of all four were also present. As Mad Medea kindly arranged the date, location and all the catering, the rest of us only had to turn up and have fun. A bit strange to realise how much we have all grown up since first year as we chatted about DIY, organic food, marriage etc. Was great to see all of them, especially MM and husband, as they most unfairly moved to Gloucestershire last year and I haven't really seen them properly since their wedding. Craziness of life and recent house-buying has meant I haven't really kept up very well with the others in Leeds either though.

The other 2 doctor/women are my good friends from my year at university, one is now an SHO in Obs and Gynae, and the other is in general practice as part of her FY2 year. Both are struggling with the nightmare that is Modernising Medical Careers. For those not familiar with medicalspeak this is the system that means that despite both having settled lives and owning houses in Leeds, they now have to apply to the whole of Yorkshire (a pretty wide area) for their choice of training scheme, and then either to another county for the same speciality or to a whole different choice of career in Yorkshire as their second and third options. For my friend in O+G, the fact that she is currently employed at the same hospital for the same consultants as she would be for the job she wants cannot be taken into account, she will only get that job if she's better on paper than the other candidates who want it, despite the fact that the department know her and know she would do a good job. This is the kind of uncertainty that is ruling the lives of most junior doctors in the country right now. I am one of the lucky ones because I'm already on the GP training scheme, which will take me through until I am a qualified GP, provided I pass my exams.

We also all discussed our struggles with the responsibility that medicine can be, something I know I have been finding stressful lately as I get further on and make more decisions for myself. When something goes wrong and a patient dies it seems impossible to avoid torturing yourself with the "what if.." questions. What if I'd just checked that? What if I'd just done this? Would it have made any difference? Hindsight makes it hard to see whether what you did at the time was reasonable.

Enough of the doom and gloom anyway! We all relaxed and enjoyed ourselves and temporarily put worries on hold. It was a beautiful place that we stayed - a large converted barn near Ashbourne, called Billy's Bothy. Quite luxurious, with a wood burning stove, under floor heating and romantic cottage-like bedrooms with en suite. I begged for myself and Husband to have the en suite with a bath, as we have only got a shower room in our house at the moment, and greatly enjoyed wallowing in hot water for protracted periods of time. We shamelessly over-ate delicious food, drank wine, went for wintry walks, fed the crazy chickens and played games and watched movies in the evenings. Yesterday morning we all left, but myself and Husband went for another short walk in Dovedale on our way home, which was really beautiful. Amazing how much more relaxed I tend to feel when I've actually been away than when I just spend the weekend at home. Feels much longer, and gives the feeling of temporary escape from everyday life.