Nothingishness

I am struggling at the moment with this blog. I seem to only blog when I am doing nights. I also seem to spend a lot of time feeling melancholy when I'm on nights. Somehow I see the negative side of everything. Eg going to New York with a girlfriend is no longer an exciting adventure, but scarey and selfish, because I haven't been away without mr me abroad since we got married. When I finish nights tomorrow morning I will probably become suddenly euphoric - that is what normally happens.

I think I've also not been blogging much because I've had a bout of sciatica, and sitting on hard chairs at computers seemed to be particularly bad for it. It's feeling much better now, but I am starting to feel a little old with all the aches and pains I've had recently.

Life seems very busy at the moment. There seem to be a million things on my jobs list, which I am constantly revisiting in an attempt to feel in control of it. A lot of things are admin to do with my training scheme, and my MRCGP exams are starting to loom large on the horizons of my thought. I haven't had to seriously revise for anything since my finals, and it is a bit of a psychological barrier.

So this is a grumbly post! I apologise, and shall stop now, and go take a little rest before baby checks at 6.30am. Tonight is the night the clocks go back, so my 12 1/2 hour shift is 13 1/2 hours instead. I think this may be affecting my outlook a little.

Exciting things about Autumn

Here is a cheery post to distract myself from the fact that I'm on nights again with a nasty cold. I love autumn. I was going to say it was my favourite season, which I think every autumn, but then every spring I think that is my favourite season as well, so it's hard to say.

• Autumn is a season of anticipation. There's a certain tang in the air, of bonfire smoke and crispy leaves, and frost to come that makes me think, "Bonfire night is coming/ cosy evenings are coming/ Christmas is coming!"

• Strictly come dancing is back on! I am deeply and worryingly obsessed with this. Generally I don't go in for celebrity/reality TV programmes, but I think this is the perfect Saturday night TV show. Of course, I've always loved dancing, so that's most of the attraction, but I also love the dresses, the drama, the glamour and watching someone fall in love with dancing. It seems to have slightly more value for me than things like "I'm a Celebrity", because the contestants are genuinely learning a skill that is difficult and rewarding, rather than just solely trying to revive their faltering careers (although a lot of them are doing that too.) Me and my sister are both into it, so get together and watch it at the weekend. Good excuse for a night in with a glass of wine.

• I'm going to New York at the end of the month. Another thing to anticipate this year. Am planning to morph miraculously into a glamourous Carrie-Bradshaw type person and wander the streets of Manhattan in high heels which will not hurt me at all, looking wistful and thinking profound thoughts. Or at least I am planning to do lots of shopping, sightseeing and have lots of fun.

• Winter coats! I love the day when I decide I need my winter coat out for the first time. It makes me feel dressed up, but wrapped up.

• Bright, frosty, clear blue mornings when the trees are golden, and the air bites. Preferably on a day when I can go for a long walk followed by a hot chocolate somewhere warm.