First Post

Having been inspired by reading blogs of some of my friends I have decided to write one of my own. Used to keep a diary, but this is much more satisfying to the ego, as if I ever manage to say something clever, someone might possibly read it.

This is not intended to be a medical blog, as a) everything has to be completely anonymised according to certain rules and even so, I’d hate for any patients to recognise themselves, and b) I’d end up talking about the NHS and that would just raise my blood pressure far too much, instead of being therapeutic. Frustration may occasionally overspill into a general rant about patients or healthcare system, but that’s not the main thing I want to write about.

I’ve called the blog doctor/woman, because that seems like the main tension in my life at the moment. Sometimes it seems like when you’re a doctor you don’t feel allowed to actually be a person any more. You have to be a reflective listener, non-judgemental and professional at all times. Sometimes I get home after a day at work and start acting insane for an hour or so, dancing around and saying stupid things because I’ve been so sensible and professional all day. I’m not saying I think doctors shouldn’t be professional or non-judgemental, but it can be a strain. It starts to make you feel maybe you can’t have your own opinion any more and you can’t decide to run down the street shouting “I’m a weapon of mass destruction” and waving an inflatable carrot. And maybe you can’t. Maybe part of the job, particularly the job of a GP, is becoming a respected member of society. Which is why maybe I need an alter ego who is allowed to be a romantic, a bit of a dreamer, someone who gets excited and rants about things, someone who writes poetry, over-reacts, cries, loves surprises and occasionally binges on chocolate. In short, a woman…