misc

ok, so last night was not good. i had a bit of a brain mist and all the ward patients decided to get sick, mostly struggling to breathe, which tends to scare me. tonight so far is going a bit better following a shaky start.

at the moment i feel stressed. there are various reasons, but the most significant is that the GP training scheme i am on and have been for the last 2 years, has introduced a new system which involves jumping through a lot more hoops, most of them electronic assessments. i was managing to cope i thought, but discovered 2 days ago that i have to jump through a whole load of them before next Friday. which is not so easy to do when you're on nights. think this saturday might be devoted to studying and preparing for meetings, which is a bit sad. maybe i will manage some gardening or shopping as well.

in the morning i am going with mr me to pick up a van and then we are driving (or rather he is driving, i am sleeping in the passenger seat) to my parents' house in liverpool to pick up some furniture. it's an antique walnut veneer dressing table and mini wardrobe that i used to have in my bedroom throughout my childhood, and loved. we will put them in our (finally) redecorated bedroom and when we buy a new bed, we can move in there. i am so looking forward to having a dressing table again - at the moment my unnecessarily large collection of toiletries lives on top of a chest of drawers in the fitted wardrobe, and gets knocked around by the clothes hanging above it. i am temporarily obsessed by curtains bedding and lamps for the new room.

i miss my church. due to work, new york and visiting home, i've only been able to go one out of the last five sundays. it definitely has an impact on my state of mind. i start to feel isolated from friends, and more importantly, it affects my prayer life and relationship with God, which has a knock on effect on my general mental wellbeing.

i am looking forward to christmas, as i always do - i am a total child about loving christmas, but am slightly sad that i will need to revise for professional exams in january over the holidays. i have been quite efficient with my christmas shopping this year and have most of it done already.

i feel my brain needs a good clear out and i need some focus and organisation in my life. i feel like i'm writing myself a horoscope here. anyway, i shall go and attempt to tidy my brain.

sorry about the lack of capital letters. i'm not in the mood for them tonight.