Tuesday 13 February 2007

Being a wife

On Sunday at church, one of my friends asked me whether I would be interested in a Bible study course for some married girls in the church about marriage and how we are all getting on with it. She asked me to bring the benefit of my experience, as I will be the longest married in the group. (It will be our 5th wedding anniversary this year.) Probably sounds like a bit of a cheesy idea, but I think it's a good idea to reasess these things from time to time and look at the foundations of a good marriage over again with some supportive friends. I agreed that I would like to be involved, but just thinking about it has set me off wondering how good I am at being a wife. The best book I read about marriage on our wedding preparation course was "The Mystery of Marriage" by Mike Mason. Bit highbrow, but a lot of interesting and good stuff about learning to put another person before yourself etc - can't remember all the details now - should probably buy the book and read it again. Just started thinking that I spend so much of the time at the moment being tired and a bit needy that I probably don't very often put mr me's needs first. Not helped by the fact that he is normally fairly undemanding himself. But surely I could be more creative in making him feel loved and special. To be completely honest, I normally spend more of the time thinking and daydreaming about what he might do for me, what he has and hasn't done recently to show me he loves me, rather than considering what his needs might be. We are both good at some stuff in marriage - we always have a date night once a week, we don't argue much and mostly in a non-destructive way, we are good at regular hugs and stuff. Think that this group will be good and helpful, but how much of a good example I am as a wife... I'm not sure at all.

3 comments:

Mad Medea said...

I'm glad its not just me who sits there fantasising about what husband could/should do for me... My biggest discovery - something which helped husband (then boyfriend) get back together after our split - was to always remember to say thank you. No matter how small the gesture or task has been, say thank you. When it is somebody that you see everyday it is easy to forget to do it.

P.S. Can't believe its been nearly 5 years since you and Mr you tied the not - eek!

Amy said...

I am going to make my Lent task to pray about how I can be a better girlfriend - I hadn't really considered how often I think about his needs, rather than when he's going to buy me flowers and be cute and soppy again! Thanks for the inspiration. Please post any helpful Bible bits if you find them!

AdventuringJen said...

Yeah, thanks d/w. Something I've been pondering too. The "quiet", undemanding types can be easy to neglect sometimes even when they are the most important person in your life.